A path to tread together
by McJoJo
Summary: Sequel to my three-shot "Frantically holding on". After the explosion Olivia and Alex have a long road of recovering and acceptance ahead of them. But right now they no longer have to walk that road alone. A/O romance
1. Chapter 1

**Well, here finally is the first chapter of the sequel to my three-shot "Frantically holding on".**

**You will absolutely need to read that one first, or this will not make any sense at all.**

**I rewrote this chapter a lot of times and I'm still not completely satisfied with it, but I'm now gonna keep it the way it is or my brain is going to explode from rereading and rewriting. **

**Enjoy and please tell me what you think!**

Olivia woke up to the feeling that something was terribly wrong, but she couldn't quite remember why. She took a couple of deep breaths – or as deep as she was able to – as she slowly started to become aware of her own body.

She felt a strong pressure on her chest, like ropes were bound tightly around her keeping her breaths short and shallow. She felt an agonizing pain in her right leg. Her head was pounding. She felt the hard ground underneath her sore back and something warm and soft in her arms. She tried to move, but groaned as more pain shot through her body.

Then, instantly, the recollection of what had happened came crashing down on her. Her eyes flew open, frantically registering the dim space around her. There was concrete and wooden debris all around them. Only a little ray of sunlight came through, falling exactly on Alex's pale face, making her almost look angelic.

"Alex," Olivia whispered. She, again, put her finger lightly on Alex's neck, praying she had been wrong earlier, desperately feeling for that little life there could be left. But the vein underneath her fingertip was completely still.

Tears burned in her eyes as she looked at the lifeless, but still beautiful, form of the ADA. She reached out and wiped a trail of blood off the blonde's cheek. Her brain was telling her she had to let go, that there was nothing she could do, that she had to find a way out of there and save herself. But one look at the pale blonde in her arms made her abandon all reason. Never in her life had she ever felt the way she felt around Alex. Never had she ever felt so much longing, so much desire and so much attraction towards anyone, not even toward any of the few men and women she had dated in the past. People she had thought she'd loved, but she now realized, with the still attorney in her arms, that she had never even known the true meaning of love. She was not even close to willing to give that up, not after all what happened.

Olivia gently lowered Alex's limp body to the ground, put her shaking hands on the ADA's chest and started compressions. If there was even the slightest chance of saving Alex, than she would grab that with both hands and do anything to bring back the woman she cared about so much.

"Come on Alex." she said as she leaned down and put her chipped lips onto Alex's soft ones tasting a hind of coconut lip balm. Alex's chest roze with the air that Olivia forced into her lungs and then started compressions again.

"Don't you dare to just give up like that." She said sternly.

Tears streamed down Olivia's face onto Alex's ashen one. How much time had passed already since Alex had stopped breathing?

Olivia's mind went over some of victims she had met over the years. People whose hearts has stopped beating as well, some who had been clinically dead for nearly twenty minutes, but who still came out of it relativally fine. One thing that Alex had in common with all of these people was that they all were fighters.

As she continued the CPR images of years before flashed through Olivia's mind_: _Alex lying on the sidewalk, blood pooling from her shoulder. Olivia desperately trying to keep the blood inside, but quickly failing when it started to seep through her fingers. Alex´s eyes staring blankly at the sky, not being able to focus on the woman above her.

_No!_ Olivia told herself, she couldn´t loose Alex, not again!

Then, with another hard compression, Alex's eyes suddenly flew wide open. Her body jerked as she sucked in a big gasp of air. Olivia jumped at the sudden movement, but then quickly felt relief washing over her.

"Alex" She said, squeezing Alex's shoulder gently, but the blonde was already unconscious again, but, thankfullly, the shallow breaths continued and Olivia felt a steady pulse.

"That's it, sweetie," she said "just hold on, you can do it. I'm gonna get us out of here."

Olivia was reluctant to let go of Alex, but she had to get moving. She had no idea how long Alex was able to hold on. Olivia started grabbing for whatever loose debris there was and dragged it away, digging herself to where the sunlight was coming from.

Then she suddenly heard a sound right above her. She stopped moving and held her breath, listening for any sound other than the soft gasps coming from Alex.

Right when she couldn't hold her breath any longer she heard it again, a muffled man's voice.

Adrenaline rushed through Olivia's body. "Help!" she shouted hoarsely, her throat sore from all the smoke. "We're here! Help!"

She stayed quiet for a second, listening for any response, but none came. She looked around, frantically searching for anything that could help her. Her eyes fell on an iron rod not too far away from her. She pulled it out of the debris and quickly started smashing it against a metal pipe. The impact send sparks through the narrow space. The sound of metal on metal sounded through the collapsed building.

When the voices came nearer Olivia started to shout out for help again while continueing to slam the rod onto the pipe.

She heard some rumble above her and more light fell into the narrow space. Olivia looked up and squinted at the brightness. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as her eyes fell on a familiar face. For the first time since the explosion she allowed her body to relax and a sense of comfort washed over her. For the first time she truly dared to believe that maybe they were going to be fine.

"Fin." She whispered

"Don't worry, Liv" Fin answered, relief present in his voice as well "We're gonna get you outta here."

Olivia glanced at Alex, who was completely still except for her chest heaving with every ragged breath she took.

"Alex is here too," she said, looking back up at Fin "It's not good, Fin, she's in really bad shape."

Olivia heard Fin call for help and more people appeared. Quickly more and more of the metal, concrete and wood was moved away. Olivia shielded Alex from the ashes and small debris falling down.

A rescue worker, wearing a helmet and a bright orange vest, lowered himself through the hole towards Olivia and Alex.

"Don't worry ma'am, we're gonna get you out of here."

He pulled along a medic bag and quickly moved to Olivia, looking at the shattered bone sticking out of her leg.

"No!" Olivia shouted "Help her first!" she pointed at Alex's unconscious form underneath the beam.

"She stopped breathing a little while ago," she quickly informed him "I performed CPR and got her heart beating again, but she's in bad shape." Olivia felt a new wave of panic rising in her chest "but that beam, I couldn't lift it. I really tried, I just couldn't. I think she's got a spinal fracture or something, she couldn't move her legs. She's been out for a while now..."

"Liv," She heard Fin's voice above her "Calm down, take a breath."

It wasn't until now that Olivia realized she was very close to having a panic attack and was hardly breathing at all. She forced herself to relax and take in some deep breaths.

"That's it, Olivia" Fin said "You kept Alex alive, you did your job, now let him do his."

Olivia nodded as she now saw the rescue worker quickly take care of Alex. He slipped a oxygen mask over Alex's face, hooked her up to an IV and then inspected the beam across her abdomen.

"Ma'am," He said as he turned back to Olivia "I'm gonna get you out of here first."

"No," Olivia quickly interrupted "I wanna stay with her."

"I understand that, ma'am, but we need to make some room here, so we can lift that beam out without causing any more damage. Please don't make this any harder."

Olivia sighed, but then agreed, she did not want to cause Alex anymore trouble than she was already in.

The rescue worker secured Olivia's wounded leg into a big orange splint. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip at the pain. Then, as if she weighed nothing at all, the guy lifted her up out of the narrow space. She felt another pair of strong arms grab her from above and pull her out. Olivia quickly looked down to get another glimpse of Alex, still helpless underneath the beam. Then Alex's form disappeared as Olivia was lifted out of the rubble.

As soon as Olivia was out she felt like her head was going to explode. The sunlight was too bright, there were sirens, there were flashes of cameras and shouts from journalists, shouts from rescue workers.

Olivia looked around, there was nearly nothing left of what had once been the beautiful supreme court building. It was a chaos, there were cops, firemen, rescue workers and other volunteers walking around, frantically looking for survivors. There were ambulances and fire trucks. People who were bleeding, bodies being covered by white sheets. Behind the police tape there were camera crews and curious people were watching anxiously.

Olivia felt herself being lowered onto a gurney, but she kept her eyes locked on the hole where she was just lifted from, anxiously waiting for any sight of Alex.

She felt a pinch as a paramedic slid an IV needle into her skin and an oxygen mask was slipped over her face. She felt some relief as she was able to finally take a deep breath of clean air, even though her ribs still hurt like hell.

As she lay there the adrenaline completely wore off and an instant rush of exhaustion came over her. Her body was screaming for sleep, it was begging her to just let go, to give in to the blackness, but she couldn't yet. She refused to let go until she knew that Alex was safely out of there.

She turned her throbbing head to the side and saw some firemen lower a cable hoist into the hole and a couple of minutes later the heavy beam was carefully lifted out of the rubble.

Two paramedics started to push Olivia's gurney towards an ambulance.

"Wait." Olivia shouted as she pushed the oxygen mask off her face "I can't leave while Alex is still in there."

"Ma'am," the paramedic answered while putting the mask back in place "your leg is severely injured and we don't know the extend of any further injuries, we need to get you to a hospital."

"No, please..." Olivia begged "just a little bit longer."

The paramedic sighed, but then gave in, not wanting to cause any more distress to the woman on the gurney.

Olivia's eyes were completely fixed on the hole in the debris where a couple of firemen were now climbing out of. A rescue worker holding an IV bag followed and then, safely attached to a spine board and a neck support wrapped around her, Alex was very carefully lifted out of all the rubble.

Olivia saw Alex quickly being rushed towards an ambulance and then felt her own gurney being lifted as well. Then her vision started to swim and she finally let the welcoming blackness come over her.

_**Please leave a review and tell me what you think**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much to all the reviewers, I love you guys. Here's the next chapter. I'm gonna try and update more often from now on, but since school and my internship started again I can't make any promises.**

**Please read and review, I'd love to know what you think of this chapter. Your thoughts and constructive criticism are really really helpful.**

**-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

"_Liv, … I really love you too, but I don't think … this really is the right moment."_

… Beep …

"_I had to protect you."_

"_Why are you still on top of me?"_

… Beep …

"_Whatever is going to happen, I want it to happen to us together."_

… Beep …

"_...so many times, over the past years I have asked myself, what if... You know, what if I would just give in to these feelings? What if I would just tell you how I felt? What if I would just ask you out?"_

"_I would have said 'yes'."_

"_It would have been perfect. We would have been happy together._

… Beep …

… Beep...

… Beep...

Every beep echoed through Olivia's head and seemed to radiate against her skull. The numb blackness quickly turned into a splitting headache. She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids felt unusually heavy. Finally she cracked open one eye, preparing for the blinding hospital lights she was expecting to see, but finding the hospital room comfortably dim. She let out a sigh of relief as she opened her eyes completely. It took a few seconds for her eyes to focus.

But as quick as the relief had been there, even more quickly it was gone completely as images of Alex flashed through her head. Alex unconscious and bleeding underneath the beam, Alex telling her to let her go and safe herself, Alex on the spine board being lifted out of that hellhole in the rubble. Panic immediately rushed over Olivia and her breathing quickened. She tried to sit up, but a horrible pain shot through her ribs. She let out a moan as she tried to relax and get her breathing under control again. The sharp pain returned to a throbbing ache.

She looked around, heart still frantically pounding, wishing with all her heart to find Alex there, peacefully sleeping in a bed next to her, her heart beating and breathing comfortably, but there was no one there. She was all by herself in, from what she could see, a private hospital room. The curtains were closed, but it appeared to be night time. Olivia moved her hand to her aching leg and felt the hardness of a big cast going all the way up to her thigh.

Olivia's mind again went over all the words she and Alex had said to each other in that courtroom.

Where was Alex now? She had been in such bad shape. Had she made it? Silent tears started to roll down her cheeks, soft sobs followed. Again her heart rate sped up and instantly the beeps of the monitor increased, going faster and faster. _Please,_ she prayed to whoever was up there, _please let her be alive, please. _

At the frantic beeps of the monitor a short red-headed nurse rushed into Olivia's room.

"Miss Benson," She said calmly "I need you to calm down, okay? Just relax, it's okay. Take a few breaths."

Olivia did as she was told and slowly the beeps went back in a reasonably normal rate. Olivia's eyes were red and swollen, tracks of tears still visible on her cheeks, but she finally was able to somewhat calm down. Whatever had happened to Alex, whatever shape she was in right now, Olivia knew that panicking was not going to help.

The nurse smiled at her, "That's it. It's nice to see you awake, miss Benson. You had us a bit worried. You've been unconscious for three days. I'm Shannon, by the way, I'm the night nurse of this ward. Doctor Taylor will come by soon and do a quick exam and talk to you about your injuries. Meanwhile, can I do something for you?"

Olivia tried to talk, but only a hoarse growl came out, muffled by something covering her mouth. She pulled down the oxygen mask, cleared her throat and finally managed to force out a word.

"Alex." She whispered again

Shannon looked at her, confusion clear on her face. "Who's Alex? Is he someone I should call?"

Olivia shook her head, regretting it immediately when it caused another wave of dizziness. She waited a couple of seconds for it to pass.

"She," Olivia finally managed "She was with me, in the building."

Shannon nodded, understandingly, "A lot of people came in after the courtroom explosion, I don't know all of their names. But as soon as we're done here, I'll try and find out for you, okay?"

Olivia nodded, not quite relieved yet, she knew she wouldn't be until she could see Alex for herself, alive and breathing. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but grimaced pain and dryness.

"I'm really thirsty," she hoarsely said, "and you don't have to call me miss Benson, by the way, just call me Olivia."

Shannon nodded with a smile and quickly moved to fill a cup with water. She pushed a button on the hospital bed and Olivia slowly came to a sitting position. She grimaced as the movement send a new wave of pain through her ribs. Shannon looked at her sympathetically as she handed her the cup.

"I'll get you some ibuprofen for the pain. Unfortunately I can't give you anything stronger before doctor Taylor has done his tests."

Olivia carefully drank through the straw and let out a sigh as the water soothed her burning throat. She took the pill Shannon handed her and hoped it would start to work quickly, because her head was starting to pound more and more and the beeping of the monitor wasn't really helping.

After Shannon was gone Olivia finally allowed herself to lay back and relax some, but not for long, pretty soon after a man with grey hair, wearing a white lab coat entered her room. He smiled at her and shook her hand.

"I'm doctor Taylor. I'm very glad to see you awake, miss Benson."

Olivia wanted to interrupt to tell him to just call her Olivia, but she was too tired to really care.

"How are you feeling?" doctor Taylor asked her.

"Sore, pretty bad head ache, ribs and leg hurt." Olivia answered after, again, removing the oxygen mask again.

Doctor Taylor nodded and made a couple of notes on the chart. He started taking her vitals and asked her a couple of questions mostly concerning her memory of what happened. Olivia blinked back the tears as again her mind went over all the horrible details of the events at the courthouse.

"You suffered quite a concussion." Doctor Taylor said "You were unconscious for three days. We took a CT of your head and there doesn't seem to be any swelling or bleeding. Your memory seems to be fine too, so with some bed rest and painkillers that should be fine. You will probably experience some dizziness and nausea. If that or the pain gets worse just push that button to call for a nurse." He paused and again looked over the chart.

"You also have three broken ribs, which will probably heal on their own, but try not to move around too much, it's possible that a broken rib will puncture your lung. Your lungs did suffer some damage from the smoke, that will take some time to fully heal. We're gonna keep you on oxygen for a couple of more days and you might have to use an inhaler for some time after, but I don't expect there to be any lasting damage."

Olivia nodded trying to let everything sink in, her hand unconsciously traced the ridge of the cast on her leg. Doctor Taylor continued:

"Your leg was quite damaged when you came in. You had an open leg fracture as well as several other fractures. We surgically had to put in a metal plate and some pins. They will keep all the bone fragments together so they can properly heal. But I have to warn you, there was some extensive damage, there is a chance that it will not heal completely."

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. What did that mean? Did she have to be in a wheelchair? Was she going to have to be on crutches for the rest of her life? Would she still be able to do her job? She certainly wouldn't be able to chase criminals she couldn't even walk normally.

"W... what does that mean?" She finally manged to force out.

"You have to be completely off your feet for at least a couple of weeks. After that I want to start you on some extensive physical therapy. You'll learn to walk on crutches. But there is a chance that you might have to use a cane or at least have a limp permanently."

Olivia tried to register everything the doctor had just told her, but her aching head and the exhaustion were starting to wear her down. She felt dizzy and nauseous. Doctor Taylor saw her rub her temples.

"I'll give you some morphine for the pain." He said "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes, do you know anything about the condition of Alexandra Cabot?" Olivia asked, a knot forming in her stomach as she dreaded to hear the answer. She tried to be prepared for the worst, but she knew she wasn't.

She saw doctor Taylor hesitate for a second, a second too long. Tears burned in Olivia's eyes.

"Please tell me she is alive!"


	3. Chapter 3

**First of all I want to thank all of you reading my story. And of course a special thanks for those who reviewed as well. For some reason I got some real hate on Tumblr for shipping both A/C and A/O and for a bit I questioned continueing my stories. But your reviews really motivated me to keep on going so, thank you for that.**

**And here's the next chapter.**

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"Yes, she's alive," Doctor Taylor finally answered, "But she's in bad shape. She wasn't breathing on her own when she came in. We had to put her into a medically induced coma. At the moment we can't tell when she will wake up... if she wakes up at all. I'm not going to lie to you, there is a chance she'll be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life."

Olivia stayed silent, desperately trying to let everything sink in. She had so many questions, but she couldn't build up the courage to actually ask them.

"She's a fighter," Olivia finally stated, more to herself than to doctor Taylor.

"I have no doubt about that," He answered, "Considering the injuries she sustained it's a miracle she even made it this far. But you have to understand, she's on life support right now, she's not breathing on her own. Her lungs are severely damaged, which caused pulmonary edema."

Olivia shot him a questioning look.

"It's a build-up of fluid in her lungs." Doctor Taylor explained, "We were able to drain her lungs, but the chances that the damage will completely heal are low. It's the edema that caused the cardiac arrest back at the court house. You managed to bring her back, but you have to understand, she was clinically dead for at least a couple of minutes, that may have caused some significant brain damage. As soon as she arrived here we used ice packs to put her into mild hypothermia, that way the chances of brain damage are much lower. But we can't tell how much damage there really is until she wakes up."

_If she ever does_, Olivia's mind added as she let herself slope back into the mattress trying to make sense of everything. So Alex was alive, but in a coma, and she might never wake up and even if she does, she might have brain and lung damage. What kind of life would that be? Then she suddenly remembered something else.

"Her legs..." Olivia started "That beam... she couldn't move her legs."

Doctor Taylor nodded sadly, "Unfortunately that beam has done quite some damage. It caused two vertebral compression fractures. That means that two of her vertebrae were crushed with the impact damaging the spinal cord underneath."

Olivia's heart rate instantly quickened as her mind started putting all of the information together, drawing conclusions she was too scared to say out loud.

Doctor Taylor must have understood what she was thinking though, "Yes," he said, "I'm afraid it's left her paralyzed from the waste down."

"Is it permanent?" Olivia finally asked, already fearing the answer

Doctor Taylor sighed, "The chances she'll fully regain the ability to walk are... low."

Olivia sunk even deeper into the pillow behind her back, wishing she could disappear in it. _No_, she refused to believe it, _Than you apparently don't know the great Alexandra Cabot,_ she said to herself, _She's a fighter, if there's anyone who can beat the odds, it's Alex_.

"So what exactly do you expect to happen?" Olivia asked as her mind failed to make sense of everything doctor Taylor had just told her.

"I'm sorry, Miss Benson, it just doesn't look good at the moment."

"But people recover, right?" Olivia started to panic "People have recovered from these kinda injuries, it happens!"

"She could recover, I'm not denying that, but considering the extensive damage she sustained... it's just better not to get your hopes up. She's on ICU right now and we're monitoring her 24/7. But it's just too early to determine anything on the long term. We're doing everything we can, but please, just be prepared for the worst."

Olivia could no longer stop the tears from running down her cheeks, had no desire to either. After all what happened, after everything they'd told each other in that court house, after that endless fight to keep Alex alive and get her safely out of the rubble and to the hospital, after all of that, it had still all been useless, she was still going to lose Alex. Silent sobs shook Olivia's body.

Doctor Taylor stood quietly, trying to remain professional while the woman in front of him, from what he heard a tough detective, broke down completely. He took a look over the file he was holding, just so he could take his eyes off the shattered woman for a second, hiding his discomfort.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He silently asked when Olivia started to calm down a little.

"Can... Can I see her?" Olivia asked in between sobs.

Doctor Taylor sighed hating to hurt the detective any further, but having no choice but to disappoint her.

"I'm sorry, but not at the moment. Miss Cabot is still in critical condition and we don't want to risk her having visitors yet. And don't forget, you are currently still on oxygen yourself."

Olivia groaned pulling the oxygen mask of her face. "I don't need it." She angrily said, "What I need is to see Alex." She grimaced at how desperate her words sounded but quickly pushed the thought away.

"Miss Benson, please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"No! You don't understand, I need to... I... I love her! I have to... I..."

Olivia started to panic and gasped for air. Her chest constricted and her lungs started to burn. She let out a few dry coughs but there just didn't seem to be any oxygen. She was somewhat aware of Doctor Taylor standing next to her, trying to calm her down, putting the oxygen mask back in place, but then her vision started to swim. Her hands were feeling numb and she knew that soon she was going to pass out.

In the corner of her eye she saw Doctor Taylor put something in her IV and quickly her eyelids started to become unusually heavy. She stared at the grey hospital wall through her teary eyes, finally feeling her lungs fill with oxygen again.

Just as her eyes were closing she saw something, or, better said, someone standing at the foot of her bed. She stared right into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, the long blonde hair lay wavy over the woman's shoulders and seemed to be nearly glowing. A little smile played around the woman's mouth as she reached out for Olivia, the long fingers nearly touching her. Olivia reached out as well.

"Alex..." she whispered, and for the first time a calmth came over her. _It's going to be alright,_ she thought before blackness took her over completely.

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

**For the ones who are worried, I have no plans of killing off Alex. I wrote this sequel specifically because I do want both of them to survive and to explore their journey and recovery and of course their relationship as well, so whatever is going to happen, Alex is going to wake up and live, but she has a long road ahead of her, so it's going to take time, I don't want to rush through the story.**

**So please tell me what you think of this chapter. **


End file.
